Prayers and answers...

..And i will call upon your name, and keep my eyes above the waves.When oceans rise my soul will rest in your embrace..For I am YOURS and YOU are mine.

Those words have hit me hard the past week. I just have to blog about the prayers God has been answering...The way He is moving so evidently in our lives! God is so good!

Last week I was having such a rough week. I had to re-fill Haydens meds..again. I cant explain to you the the dark cloud that I feel follows me into the pharmacy everytime I go.Ive gotten to know the pharmacists in there and they always ask how she's doing,what are the doctors saying by now..and its always the same thing.. oh just same old you know.And then she rings me up, Her meds aren't that exspensive and God has always provided for us in that,and for that im grateful..anyways ,last week.(me and my bunny trails) We've been talking about moving ,for a while now,but we'd really like to do that by next year..we have work to do on our house before we can sell so we are constanly trying to figure out how we can do this,when we should do that..and for me that stresses me a bit.Ok kinda allot.It looks sooo huge to me and when I think of all we have to do I feel like ill just drown. Thursday night on the way home from revival meetings at our church,our vehichle started acting weird and we could barely make it home.So Friday the mechanic took it in thinkin it was just a pipe that needed to be changed,We borrowed our brother in laws van till ours was fixed.Friday I sat down to have my devotions,a very tired,stressed me. And I started praying,crying out to God to please take some of this load off. In the middle of my prayer I just stopped and said "God do you even hear me ?!" And that was that.Saturday evening Matt was going to church and couldn't find his wallet...he searched frantically but it didn't turn up..so he went off to church hopeing I would find it while he was gone.When he got home is said I I hadn't found it so he kept looking and then informed me that we are now driving his parents old car because the van over heated on the way home:( When we went to bed Saturday night I just prayed that God would tell us where to look for his wallet and help us find it..then sunday rolled around..God knew I needed sunday. I got to sing on the worship team and that's when  I sang oceons and right after that we sang how great is out God..and as I stood there singing I couldn't help but just feel overwhelmed with love and gratefulness for my savior.. Even when I feel He don't hear me,i know he does..i know He loves me I know HE cares..And then the pastor spoke something over me..he came right to my row,said my name and spoke "God hears you,he hears your hearts cry and he captures your tears...Keep pressing in." I sat there sobbing.What more confirmation do I need..sure ive been praying for healing for a year sure ive been praying about our finances constantly..but God...God hears it all..even though I am not seeing results right now.God hears.We got home from church and Matt found his wallet ,in the oddest place.But he said he just "felt" like he should look there. say what??!THATS GOD! Monday we found out our cars transmition  is whats wrong..we were overwhelmed for about a minute..the peace of God flooded me ...and my husband spoke something so amazing as I looked at him with tears he said .."its not our car,its not our money.We do not have to worry about this."(and now im crying again..isn't that amazing?!!)and I didn't.We figured up a plan to pay off the car and on Tuesday we started talking about a way to add on to our house instead of sell it..i don't know if we will for sure do that or not,but ive noticed something since we talked about that option...I do not feel overwhelmed and then I realized..God is lifting my load.He knew the things that were making me feel even more crazy then just Haydens situation..and he lifted it.He knew he very thought of moving stressed me out..so he put that thought on hold. Wednesday I was going away and I couldn't find my phone,i was just ready to leave without it when I remembered I don't know how to get to this place and I need my phone to find out...so I walked back in my house and just said "God where is it?!" and again I felt like I should look in a pretty weird spot...there it was.And all I could say was thank you Jesus.not just for my phone..but for all He is doing!!
Isnt God good?!
Heres the topper...yesterday I was reading a book I just got and the challenge in it was to write out a list of things cause anxiety worry and fear in our lives..and I wrote out the most honest prayer ,so honest I almost felt guilty for it..but I wrote about our car and I just asked God "would you take care of this"I didn't know how that would look but that's all I asked. This morning, we got a call saying someone has donated money to help pay for our vehicle. Sometimes when God answers prayers like that I feel like I cant pick my jaw up from off the floor. So this morning i'm just dragging my jaw around:) I shouldn't be surprised.I shouldn't even be phased...but if I were God,i sure would enjoy seeing the looks on my kids faces after I did something like that:)  How GREAT is our GOD!!

As for Hayden-nothing new ,the scabs still there. Some days it comes off but then it reforms a day or two later.So I find it hard to get my hopes up when its not there.We go see the doctor again middle of april.And I will keep you all posted on that.Please keep praying for her..i feel like a broken record saying that,but one of these days,these prayers will all be answered and she will be completely healthy and med-free!Be encouraged today!!

one more thing.i know this post is super long so if your still reading props to you:)I write it all out so one day I can look back on it all :) BUT-if you are going through a rough time.do yourself a favor and listen to our sermon at church this past sunday...I cant begin to tell you how it spoke to me. you can even see me singing:)heres the link:)
http://hisfcc.com/index.php?p=1_10_Sermons

Friends,laughter and health

The kids and I just got back from a week long trip to florida to visit my parents and boy did we have a blast.It was so very relaxing and full of quality time with some of my favorite peopleThe kids were beyond thrilled to see mimi and papa

We spent tim with cousins at the beach..

hung out with mummy

and did everything mimi did

.My cousin & best friend was down a week before I came and our trips overlapped by 3 days-We haven't seen each other for almost 6 months!We got to spend time together as well.You know that girl friend who just really gets you-who makes you laugh from the pit of your belly-who you can make laugh with one tiny odd little comment,who ,when you say 3 words of  a sentence she knows where your going with it or how your feeling about that situation..the one who you have so many memories with that the "inside jokes" just flow when your together,that one who no matter how long it goes since you seen or talked to each other,nothings changed and you pick up right where you left off as though you never missed a beat.The one who your heart breaks when she goes through tough times and all you want to do is pick her up,take her out for the evening and just laugh together cause you know she just needs that.The one who ,you could go to a coffee shop and order her favorite drink without asking what that drink is...that one..thats my Tonya.

We spent the evening together wedneday ,taking our kids for ice cream and talking as fast and as much as we could to fill up the night and when it was over we still had so much to say...Thursday we went out with our moms ,my 2 kids and her oldest,We ate sushi,cause that's our favorite and a tradition we started a few years ago for each others birthdays,instead of gifts we treat each other to sushi.We giggled at our moms being so cool,

we laughed as we asked for the kids style chopped sticks for our kids and then some for ourselves as well,

we sent pictures to our sisters to make them jealous and show them what a great time we were having,we smiled with pure delight as we watched our kids interact with each other cause that's what we always dreamed of,them being best friends like we are.

Then we headed out and went to her moms(my aunts) house to let the kids swim in the pool.We spent the 2 hours there just laughing,laughing at our kids at our moms but mostly at ourselves:)Shes pregnant and having the baby in may so we watched her tummy in hopes that the baby would kick while the kids were watching,i made funny comments and she giggled that laugh that just egged me on to make more funny comments while our moms were taking videos and pictures of us laughing together. Mom and I took the kids home for naps and later went back over to eat supper with them.And have even more fun.It was such a good day...when tryin to tell my husband about it all I could say was just that I was just so happy but I think more then anything,being with her and our moms,and havnig the fun we had,just made me forget all the rest of the stuff that was going on around me...

After I posted my last post about what the surgeon said,i assumed his word was golden.That the scab was nothing to do with the infection. I had to call the Id doctor to ask about Haydens meds,i assumed since he said the scab was not infection that that meant Hayden could come off her meds cause the reason she was still on the meds was because of the scab.Well when I called the Id doctor she said Hayden could come off the one med but she wants her to finish out the other when I asked why she said she doesn't think she agrees with the surgeon about the scab,she thinks the scab is residual therefore she doesn't feel comfortable taking her off the meds completely.While in florida Haydens meds were just about gone so again I assumed since she said finish it out that after this bottle we'd be done.But then I realized I still have like 6 refills on the bottle..so I called in again to ask if she meant finish out the bottle I have or finish out the refills...and she said she wants her to stay on it until she see's her again in april.I keep praying that God will help me just to roll with this..to not let any of it sting.But it just does..everytime they say "a little longer" its like another kick.A few weekends ago we went to myrtle beach for the weekend with Matts ball team and I forgot Haydens meds(a first) so for 3 days she went without and she was a bear..it was as though her body was going through withdraw.I kept thinking im imagining,but after talking to a few people and them saying things like well shes on drugs what do you expect?!
In florida Hayden got sun and for some reason when ever she gets sun(since being on meds) she gets bumps all over her skin.This time it was on her face and neck.So I was researching her meds for the millionth time trying to figure out if its the meds or something else causing it..
I sit here day after day thinking "Ok God give me wisdom,help me not to worry I give this to you.."but like any thing we deal with in life it is a constant giving up..Its reminding yourself,this is not for me to carry,even though as a mom I feel like it is..
Last night we had a church and they talked about going through the fire and you know what? I got excited..cause I feel like we've been walking through a fire, and its been a year now,how much is God going to use this,us?! He has to have something big in mind.OH father bring the fire!! REFINE ME!!One thing this has taught me is I am so far from perfect,there is soo much work to be done on me. As we sang last night
 "Refiners fire,my hearts one desire is to be Holy,set apart for you Lord"  I couldn't say it better myself,Lord I want to be holy!