Its about time for another blog:),I don't know why I don't blog more,i love to write..i love trying to type out what im feeling or thinking about..that being said..
Today im thining about...:)
I have allot on my mind today..which seems to be the case many days. sometimes I feel like my mind needs to take a break..and oh how many times ive told my husband"if you spent a day in my head.."But lets face it...any man would be exhausted being inside any womens mind for a day:)
Over the past week or so,Hayden sarted blinking her eyes really tightly and often..i didn't think much of it at first thinking shes just being silly.Yesterday we were sitting in church and she was relaxed laying against me and I noticed she was doing this..When Matt mentioned it again in a concerned way I decided I had better call the doctor the next day just to be safe.. The one medication she is on,can affect the eyes(Hayden has to see a opthamologist while on this med to make sure her eyes are ok )and the doctor has told us if we see any changes in her to let her know...
however I woke up this morning with a awful toothache.i felt it the weekend but it was dull an di figured it would go away..i know I need to get my wisdom tooth pulled ,but thought I would just wait it out..i guess not no more.
I felt a little panicky this morning..trying to figure out how we would afford me getting my wisdom teeth out after we just found out before Christmas that our health care wouldn't be covering Haydens dr visits or her meds which is of dollars we owe... but then I remembered something....
I sing on the worship team at our church every now and again..definitely a passion of mine..I love it with all my heart and I so enjoy the group I get to sing with.We got together for practice on Thursday night and the worship leader gave me the songs I would be leading on we ran through the one song and I loved singing it...the tune was so beautiful...the words were so powerful
"God I look to you,i wont be overwhelmed,give me vision,to see things like you do.God I look to you ,Your where my help comes from.Give me wisdom,You know just what to do.."
After we sang it my worship leader shared the story of Jen Johnson,the women who wrote this song and how the song came about..
She was driving in her car one morning,after a crazy morning of taking kids here and there,the stresses of work and so on...and she just started singing.."God I look to you,cause im so overwhelmed" she kept singing that when she just felt God lay on her heart.."Stop telling me how your feeling and start proclaiming!!"So she started singing " God I look to you,I WONT BE overwhelmed"
This morning,all morning I felt like I just couldn't get my ducks in a row,do I call the dentist or not,oh yes I need to call Haydens doctor,which should I call first,i don't want the appointments scheduled on the same day...and so on and so on..it don't take much for me ,especially with Haydens health,to get in a bit of a tizzy...but those words kept spewing out of my mouth.."God I look to you,i wont be overwhelmed"and let me just say,i felt the peace of God flooding my mind..And as I kept singing that song...I made the calls..
I have a dentist appointment set up for this evening ,they are going to give me an exam and maybe some xrays and some pain meds to hold me over and then go from there as far as getting the teeth out..As for Hayden,i called the doctor but had to let a message,
im assuming they will want to see her this week Just to make sure its nothing serious.
Oh Jesus,how much you have brought us through over the past year..in March it will be one year since all of this started..February a year ago I had my gullbladder surgery and a month later Hayden got sick...a whole year..thinkin back to when she got sick and we thought it was just virus..that feels like so long ago.and never did we imagine what it actually was.Im so thankful for the doctors who got to the bottom of it all,who helped her get to where she is today and who continue keeping an eye on her and will continue doing so for the next 6 months or so.Im also so thankful for the grace God gives in the midst of our storms...I already look back at Haydens first surgery and wonder how in the world did we get through that..I know I have learned so much...and im so thankful for the way God "equipts" us for when we walk through tough stuff.
I had hoped going in to this new year that this year would be free of all things health related(as far as doctors etc)..other then finishing up Haydens meds..But 12 days into the year im guessing that's not going to be the case.When Matt had his surgery it felt so heavy to me,so much,too much.But I think now,i have i a new pair of glasses on... I wont be overwhelmed.
What do you need today? Proclaim it.
