Matts results

Today I have felt week...today was a hard day.
We got Matts results back...and its worse then we thought.I don't understand all the medical talk a whole lot but his infraspinatus(rotater cuff) is completely torn and 80% of the supraspinatus is torn as well.This is not good. Dr said he has to have surgery or he will have major neck and shoulder issues.The longer he waits to have the surgery the longer his recovery will be and the harder it will be for him to have his arm back to what it should be.
I don't know where this puts us,in a bad place ,really.Matt will probably have to be off work and his arm In a sling for 4-6 months.(or so we read online) My mind has been spinning since we found out, what are we going to do, how are we going to make it, what's our plan ,how soon is surgery...then it goes back to Hayden, what is she has surgery over the same time matt does, is this next surgery going to take care of everything for her...so many questions so many I don't knows...Talking to my dear friend tonight and she said something that i've been thinking all day and it just brought me to tears again..."God is good, no matter the circumstances, He is a good God" yes, i believe that. I will say it over and over even though none of this makes sense to me... Hes brought us here for a purpose, He will never leave our side.His mercy is new every morning. Matt and I talked about it over the supper table tonight and after discussing selling our house(something weve been thinking about doing anyways so we could buy a bigger house.) I said it again "God brought us here for a reason.." I will not stop praising.I will not stop trusting Him.No matter what my flesh may feel.We have allot of descisions to make over the next week... but I feel the only way I can hold it together is if I don't think past tomorrow....tomorrow we take Hayden to the dr to get the drain out and hopefully discuss whats next. Tomorrow I will call Mats surgeon and set up a consultation with him about surgery. Tomorrow looks overwhelming.
Ive been praying today that something will happen, that will show us that God really is going to take care of us. Tonight a good friend called and said if we need it,he thinks he could help us out till Matts back at work... that's the last thing we want to do, but to know we could have a back up plan brought me some kind of peace...its going to work out. We just have to keep our heads above the water.
So many people have commented and said how strong they think I am being,this took me totally off guard,i do not feel strong ...its a strength that is not my own.
 I also wanted to add, thank you to everyone who has messaged about things to try for Hayden. Before doing surgery we tried allot of natural things, but with the way this infection grows so fast, having the patience for natural things is hard and the longer we wait the worse it gets and is to take care of (as you could see in pictures) We do have Hayden on probiotics and I use essential oils on her daily(I forget some days). We got to a place after first surgery of just being sick of trying new things that weren't working and upsetting her more as she does not like anyone touching her neck.
I will hopefully update on Hayden sometime this week after the appointment tomorrow. Thank you for all the positive response we got on Haydens story on this blog. I did not expect that much response and cried at some of the messages ya'l wrote. Its been so amazing to see how many people care and are following her story. I think back to some of my old friends who I haven't seen in a while and still comment on my posts about her and I have thanked God again and again for all the people he brought into our lives over the years... we are so blessed to have sooo many friends and boy ,do I love you all so much:)
sleep well my friends.