How do I start todays blog... one word. TRUST. There have been so many times over the past year that I felt I have had a choice..to trust God,the almighty ,omnipotent Father of mine.Or to worry,to stress ,to fear.I must admit that although my soul longed to choose the first option,more then once,my flesh has gone with the ladder. And everytime,im reminded what an awful place that is to be in.Over the past week ive had days of both,we had allot of stress ,with both Matt and I being sick middle of the week last week,we had some worry and fear as I have felt like I cant plan ahead of Tuesday(tomorrow)until I know if we will or will not be having another surgery for Hayden.But today...today I feel nothing but trust. Its so amazing to me how I feel like God works everything out exactly how it should be..how I need it to be,before I even know I need it.I was asked to sing on the worship team sunday,but once I got this cold I was like oh boy...but somehow,i was able to sing yesterday..ive said it before how healing singing is for me..and the songs we sang yesterday spoke straight to my heart.At one point while singing I felt like,it was just me and God right there,having church.Even If no one else had "church" I did...And it was amazing." God I look to you I wont be overwhelmed ..give me wisdom,you know just what to do .."It was such a time of sacrifice for me..i felt like right there I was saying "ok God,its yours.Speak to me,i trust you." beautiful.so beautiful. This morning I woke up,and spent some time reading my bible and praying and during that time the kids were having a hard time getting along. So I did something I don't do often enough,i stood up,placed my hands on each of there heads,and prayed.Knowing that they would probably run away thinking its a game,instead,Asher looked at me,stood up and nuzzled into me,Hayden followed in his footsteps and they both stood there as I prayed,nuzzled into me,and at the end both said "in Jesus name ,Amen" and off they went.God gave me a beautiful picture...He speaks over us,And longs for us to nuzzle into Him as He does.I felt so strongly God was just saying.."Today,I want you to nuzzle into me. As I speak over you" SPEAK LORD JESUS! My heart is full.My mind is clear.And my storm,is calm.
I feel so at peace about whatever happens tomorrow. Surgery or not. Surgery would suck and it would be hard,yet I feel at peace.
Im so thankful,so thankful for everyone who has been praying for us, for family and friends that have encouraged and lifted us up, and im so thankful for a God who I know I can trust and fully rely on.
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