unexpected news again...

"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear." Isaiah 65:24

That verse was so true for me today...
Hayden had a appointment with infectious disease doctor.Last we saw her was right before Christmas when we were hopeing for her to go off of her meds however there was a scab on the first scar that Dr Lacroix felt a little uneasy about so she said lets keep her on meds and we'll meet again in February and hopefully take her off then.
I left this morning and decided not to get my hopes up,i didn't want to be disappointed again...but we got unexpected news again.
As soon as she saw the scab was still there she looked troubled.She said she doesn't feel any nodes but that scab makes her think theres still infection in there trying to push out.She said she doesn't want to stop her meds yet..then she sat there a bit and didn't say anything..and then got a look on her face that I recognized:(She wants us to go see the  Abrams (the surgeon) again.Shes thinking he might need to go in and do another surgery,one where he can clean out any more infection that's still in there and then at the same time can perform reconstructive surgery on the scar.She set up an appointment for next Tuesday and is going to let him decide what to do from here...however,from our experience,if Dr Lacroix thinks that's what we should do,Dr Abrams usually agrees. After she told me all this she went out of the room to call Dr Abrams and set up an appointment for us,during that time I text matt and our families along with some close friends and told them what she said..for about a minute,i sat there tears welling up in my eyes and feeling so discouraged,but just like that I started feeling like "its ok,Gods got this,He knows what she needs,He knows what I need,He will give me strength,its going to be ok.dont out ahead,focuse on now." Dr Lacroix came back in with my appointment scheduled with Dr Abrams and we talked a bit more,she did say that she didn't like doing another surgery on her with her being so young,but its also been 8 months of therapy since her last surgery and it just might be what we need to do .She thinks that after another surgery we could be done..no more meds and hopefully be rid of this awful disease. After hearing that I thought,you know what,i hate thinking about the stress of another surgery,another hospital visit and putting her through all that again,but if it meant for it to be done and over with,i think id be ok with that..its time for healing..its time to move on from this.
I have felt so lifted today..a few times tears have came thinking about putting her through another surgery,but it seems as though God continues to "refuel" me all day.As though satan keeps throwing things at me but right before he does God comes in ,refuels me,and then I stand strong. My amazing friend text me right as I got into my car to leave today before she knew anything about the visit we had just had and she sent me the devotions she had read that morning..about God knowing me..knowing what I need before I need it.."our Heavenly father knows exactly what we will face today and next week.He is eager for us to experience Him as he provides for us..Maybe I needed today,maybe I needed to be reminded of the strength he places in me in the exact moment I need it .When I think  before something even happens "how in the world would I handle that?How would I cope"..you just don't know..you don't know until your there,in the room hearing something unexpected and Gods grace pours in.Not that it don't hurt,not that you don't have your moments of panick...but God...hears each prayer,reaches down ,and comforts.Right.When.You.Need.It. "He is ready to show His strength through our weakness.Our Heavenly Father knows whats best for us and He is prepared to provide every need,if we will but ask"(phil.4:13)
We are trusting God in this...if this third surgery is what Hayden needs..we will accept it and praise Him still...If God says "enough"..we will be grateful. Pray with us for discernment for Dr Abrams when he sees her next week.And also that this next week would be peaceful for Matt and I...I don't like waiting, but I refuse to be weighed down by this.