dancing in the rain...

Today was another one of those,started out normal ended up crazy kind of day...Lets start last week...After meeting with Haydens ID doctor,we once again switched one of her antibiotics(I had mentioned this before,this new one costs $400.00) ever since we switched Ive felt like Haydens been extra fussy...although ive felt like shes not been completely herself since her first surgery(could have something to do with the treatment shes on)Somewhere in between all this,after much talk,Matt and I decided to go up to Pa for about a week.My parents are moving to florida next month and weve been wanting to go up one last time before they move,not to mention that I desperaely need some time with my family and a little time "off". I made some calls and figured out I could work a day to pay for half of the trip up there,so we decided we would leave Wednesday after Matts therapy.
Over the weekend,starting Friday Hayden seemed even more grouchy and whiny.Friday night we went out with some friends and the kids stayed with Matts parents,When we got home it was close to 12 and both the kids were awake..so Saturday I just figured she was extra tired and sick looking cause of loosing so much sleep.Saturday night she went to bed with 102 fever,but by the time I went to bed her fever was completely gone.so Sunday morning we went to church,she looked really sick out of her eyes but she didn't have a fever at all...during church she was pretty mellow.We ate lunch with Matts aunt and uncle and cousin, and just before we got our food she started crying,and wouldn't stop,so I held her,she layed against me and within a half hour I felt she was really warm again,when we got home she had a fever again.

Sunday evening Matts parents came over and Hayde fell asleep on grandma(this NEVER happens..she is a only sleeps in her bed kinda girl)

and as the evening went on her fever just got higher..I called her ID doctor and we talked about what was going on,she seemed a little unsure since Haydens on so many antibiotics it didn't seem as though she would have cought a bug,so she wanted to see her to check to see if it was her meds or something else..i had an appointment set up with the surgeon Tuesday and since her id doctor knew its an hour drive for me she asked if I think shed be ok to wait till tuesay,I thought she would be ok,but she said if I feel any change about that to call in and they will try to see her before . Hayden went to bed last evening with a 103.2 fever... That part is just so hard for me..i hate that anytime she gets sick I just don't know if shes sick cause shes just sick or if it has something to do with her infection or if it has to do with her meds.I text my dear friend last night and told her"i feel like I need prayer,stuff like this just makes me think will this stuff with Hayden ever end??!feeling heavy and worn and like I have no idea what im doing or should do.." I know it will end,but there seems to be so many bumps in this road...and there are times I feel so un-equipt for this..but we keep going... And God keeps reminding us of His promises.."I will never leave you or forsake you"
This morning we got up,and her fever was gone again,and it didnt show itself during the night either..so I thought ok maybe shes feeling better but as the morning went on it seemed as though her eyes just kept looking more sick like and she was just a grouch.I finally I called her pediatrician whose a half hour away and asked if she could see her today,with going to Pa Wednesday i wanted to make sure she was clear to go,or if we should put it off for a week.She said yes she could see her in about 2 hours,so I took a shower and we headed that way.Turns out she has a virus,which is good news,funny I know that that would be good news,but in this situation it is.She said shes at the end of it so that made me feel better.
I came home to a meal made by a young girl in our church,also someone from out church was making us super for this evening,a friend from church stopped in with  a huge beautiful mum to put on my porch,as if all this wasn't enough,over the weekend a friend had given us some cash to pay for half of our trip to pa,but today when I got the mail there was a check in there to pay for the entire trip...plus some.I came in to Matt with tears in my eyes as I read a card a friend had sent us...God continues to show Himself faithfull and continues to go above and beyond for us.What could have been a stressfull ,tear filled day,instead I walked outside this evening with a smile on my face thinking "were just so incredibly blessed"

                                              (two of our sweetest blessings)

Yesterday at church we sang "bless the Lord"" ive always looked at this song like...that scenario when your so weak,you just cant raise your hands to praise Him,but you need to  ,you want to,so you tell your soul.."Bless the Lord" and slowly your hands begin to raise,and soon your face down on the ground worshipping..i love that song for that..and I have never felt that more...like those days I feel so weak,and I just say "im choosing to praise you,im choosing to worship you..now worship!" ...
                                       "SING LIKE NEVER BEFORE OH MY SOUL"


Matt is doing pretty well..his therapy is going extremely well and his therapist says its looking so good he thinks he might cut him back to once a week instead of twice.He is getting a little bored ,but as time goes on and he can start driving he'll find more things to do.We are finding little ways to enjoy this part of our journey..and the other morning as we were sitting out on the porch at 10 am watching the kids play it came to me..
                                             "this is us,dancing in the rain"

 

Tomorrow Hayden has an appointment with the surgeon again,not real sure what hes going to do or what we'l be discussing but im excited to see what he has to say...and im sure ill write about it sometime soon.Tomorow is a super busy day for me with getting ready to leave Wednesday morning but my sweet mother in law text me tonight and she said " I will pray that you will have more then enough time for everything" ..isn't is awesome that we can ask God for anything?!
Im hopeing both my kids are happier tomorrow,Asher has a canker sore in his mouth that's been making him a bit crabby too,and this evening I thought I was going to loose it as they were both crying and begging me to hold them(there both a bit scared to let Matt hold them cause they they think they will hurt his arm)i told Matt tonight,i just cant wait to go up to Pa and have mom be able to help me a bit and to have the kids distracted.im .just.so.excited!:)It feels like such a God kiss that were able to go.And I fully intend to go up there,relax and de-stress:)

(Asher getting a head start on the relaxing part:))

I need to get some sleep tonight...thanks for reading.It still amazes me all the people that say they read my blog..so thank you:)