Thankfulness...

Its funny how things happen through out the weeks and I think to myself "I need to put that on the blog" and now that I pulled it open to actually blog I have to go back and try to remember those things..
im going to start with the Dr appointment we had with the surgeon 2 weeks ago... I forgot that I wasn't going to be meeting with Dr Abrams but with his PE who was taking his patients while he was on vacation...she's a sweet lady but I always like speaking with
Dr Abrams more since he has been with us since the beginning and I know he knows a lot more about it all...anyways,she checked the scars and said everything looks great and that she thought were out of the woods as far as another surgery..i don't mean to sounds negative in any way,but it didn't mean a whole lot hearing that from her since Dr Lacroix is the one who knows more about the infection side of it all and is the one to make that call... The PE also said she didn't think she could really feel those other lumps Dr Lacroix felt..again..didn't get my hopes up.She did say that theres a good possibility that when Hayden gets sick, colds,flu etc that theres a good chance her nodes will swell up  again.That scared me a little because if you remember,that how all this started...a little cold,a little swelling in which the Dr's thought would all go down...but I have chosen im not going to fear that. But when we went to leave she said the most wonderful news.."this is your last appointment scheduled with us unless Dr lacroix needs her to see us again" and when i left i didn't have to schedule another one.....i could have jumped for joy!!one less dr appointment to deal with!!!
With the weather getting cold and flus etc starting I have been doing extra as far as tryin to keep her from getting sick..i use essential oils on her mostly everyday,i give her a really good pro-biotic (plexus...awesome awsome stuff!) and I also am giving her a pill to help her bowel movements(also plexus) since she seems to be getting stopped up allot.I feel really good about the stuff im giving her and feel its definitely helping.Im also taking the plexus stuff since ive been having allot of troubles with rashes on my skin over the past year...and as of right now,i have no rashes at all!PTL.
2 weeks ago I was having a really really rough week...my sister and I talked allot over that time as she would call me to check up on me..i could tell when she called that she was really asking questions trying to read me on how I was doing..which was...well,not good.I have only felt that way a few times in my life and that's after my babies are born,i have had post partum with both (worse after Hayden was born) and that's how I described it to Karen..i started just feeling so down...so burned out..so weak and just sad..something I do not normally feel!I blogged about this last time.i kept telling my sister she should come spend the weekend with me end of November since Matt decided to join his ball team and go to florida for a tournament.I really wanted him to do this,of course he couldn't play but he could be around the guys,coach and do the scorebook.But I was not excited about staying home alone with the kids,especially not with how I was feeling.Well after about a week of me just feeling so down,my sister called and said to find plane tickets to come up for 10 days and they would pay for the trip...I wasn't really into traveling again since we have been gone allot since Matts surgery but after thinking about it a bit I decided I would drive instead(flying stresses me with my 2 kids) so 4 days later the kids and I packed up and headed to Pa to stay with my sisters family.We had SUCH a good time!! My sister and her husband spoiled us.And I even go to work a day while I was there.I didn't know how much I needed that time...to be with my sisters and brothers,to be away from my husband a little,i know that sounds bad,but being together 24/7 for the past 2 months has had its challenges.We came home yesterday after being there for 10 days and I have not felt this refreshed in a while.
Today in church we sang a song ...and it hit me in a new way "oh im running to your arms,im running to your arms,the riches of you love will always be enough.." this past year I have felt things that ive never felt before...almost as though "someone" was tryin to rob me of my joy..and there have been days I feel im loosing in that battle..there have been days I just feel so incredibly week...week as in,im going to loose it..litereally im going to fall apart.there have been days I have felt anger for no reason except that im just so tired...tired of battleing...and even though God has reminded me again and again... this is just a test..God WILL be glorified ,and again and again I am reminded of Job(although my situation is nothing compared to Job)...  there are days I just feel so ungrateful..ungratefull that all this is happening,ungrateful that I have had to watch my 1 year old daughter spend more time in a hospital then I ever have.ungratefull that my normally hard working husband can not work at all right now..ungratefully that these two things had to happen over the same time...ungrateful that my happy little life that I was just living a year ago is now turned around and ungratefull that somedays I don't even recognize who I am because I am not an ungrateful kind of person....but then when we sang these words..."the riches of Your love,will ALWAYS be enough" i can't be ungratefull...Thank you Jesus that you love me...that none of this changes that fact...thank you that my little girl is getting better..thank you that this will come to an end.thank you that today as we ate out with family,someone handed my not working husband money to pay for our lunch.thank you that weve been able to take trips that have all been completely paid for !thank you that we got so much free food to put in the freezer while in pa..thank you that there is medicine to help my daughter get better,thank you that we have not had to stress about our finances.
Thankfullness always trumphs un-thankfulness.Isnt God GOOD??!!!!


I cant believe its November already!! Weve been so busy and that has been such a blessing...weve got to go to pa twice,florida once and church camping and all of those were paid for by family or friends that just decided to.THAT has been awesome.. we had our anniversary in august and didn't really get to celebrate but a very special couple gave us tickets to go to a Clemson football game end of this month,Matts parents have time share and with that we were able to get a motel and now have planned to spend the weekend there.to say we are excited is an understatement..we have not gone away for overnight without the kids since ..well im really not sure...im thinking it was when Asher was a baby.:/I think that will be soo good for us and yes...im just really excited:) My mom has decided to come see us next weekend..that was just planned as well and is giving me something to look forward to over the next week..Ashers birthday is the 23rd of this month so i think we'll try to have his party while shes here.November will be yet another busy month for us and were all ok with that:)
Hayden has a dr appointment tomorrow with Dr lacroix,although im going to try to change that in the morning to next week while moms here so we can spend the day in Greenville and since i just go home and have so much to do tomorrow. I once again and am excited to meet with Dr Lacroix,see whats changed,if anything,and see how long shes thinking for Haydens meds yet.i always have allot of questions and she always is so willing to give answers.
I challenged my sunday school class this morning to this...Put a piece of paper by your bed,and for the month of November,everyday write one thing your thankful for..has to be  something different every day.Im excited to join them in this! Whose with me?!:)